All the World's a Stage A Parody of Errors
by CelticKawaii
Summary: A crack-fic on the works of William Shakespeare. This should be good. Includes themes from Macbeth, Midsummer Night's Dream, Romeo&Juliet, and Hamlet. Extremely random.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own William Shakespeare, or any of his plays. If I did, I wouldn't be on this site, and everything would be written in plain and simple English.**

**Part the 1****st****; Macbeth.**

(Act I, scene I; somewhere in Scotland a long time ago)

.Thunder & lightning. Enter 3 witches

**First Witch: **When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

**Second Witch: **When the hurly-burly's done, when the battle's lost and one.

**Third Witch: **Is hurly-burly even a word? Or art thou just making it up?

**Shakespeare: **Third Witch! Thou art breaking the fourth wall

Which I intend to leave intact

For the 'mainder* of this act.

**All three Witches: …**

**CelticKawaii:** Behold dear readers! This is crack!

From the front page to the back.

Be thou warned, for I am extremely random.

**All (including Shakespeare): **That doesn't even rhyme!

**CelticKawaii: **Well, FYI, the words "again" and "rain" don't rhyme either. Oh and by the way, "hurly-burly" isn't a word. Just saying…

**Shakespeare:** Be thou gone now, n00b!

**Hecate: **And where do I come in?

**Shakespeare ***facepalm*: Later.

**Joshua: **Hey. What's goin' on?

**CelticKawaii: **Dude, you're in the wrong fic!

**Joshua: **I am? *emo*

**Shakespeare: **Ugh! Why art thou even here, thou n00b?

**CelticKawaii: **Hey now! That's impolite! Do you need to rub it in?

**Shakespeare ***glares*: Can we get on with the act, already?

**Third Witch** *clears **: **That will be ere the set of sun.

**First Witch: **Where the place?

**Second Witch: **Upon the heath.

**Third Witch: **There to meet with Macbeth.

**First Witch:** I come, Graymalkin

**Second Witch:** Paddock calls.

**Third Witch: **Anon!

**Joshua: **Who's 'Anon?' Is that like you're screen name?

**CelticKawaii: **Dude, get out of here!

_At this point, CelticKawaii decided it was best to stop here and leave her readers (hopefully) rolling on the floor in laughter, whilst gasping for breath. Or perhaps to simply leave them wondering what the hell they just read, and get on with her "busy" life._

**Hope you enjoyed. Joshua is one of my OC's in another fic I'm working on. He hasn't made an appearance yet, but he'll come up later on in that story. This won't be the last time random characters make inappropriate cameos in here. Please review! XD.**

_**Fin.**_


	2. Chapter 2

****

**Hey everyone! Thanks for the (lack of) reviews. *glares* Well, the next segment is Hamlet, which I didn't know that much about, so I had to do some, uh, "research." Oh, hi Raintai1! TAhnx for putting me on the alert list! ^_^**

**Now, on with the story!**

* * *

Hamlet  
(God only knows where)

**Hamlet:** To be, or not to be. That is the question.

**CelticKawaii:** Um, can someone please tell me what happens next?

**Wikipe-tan*:**_**The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark**_, or more simply _**Hamlet**_, is a tragedy by William Shakespeare, believed to have been written between 1599 and 1601. The play, set in the Kingdom of Denmark, recounts how Prince Hamlet exacts revenge on his uncle Claudius for murdering the old King Hamlet, Claudius's own brother and Prince Hamlet's father, and then succeeding to the throne and marrying Gertrude, the King Hamlet's widow and mother of Prince Hamlet. The play vividly charts the course of real and feigned madness—from overwhelming grief to seething rage—and explores themes of treachery, revenge, incest, and moral corruption.

**CelticKawaii:** Um, actually, I just wanted to know what goes on in _this _scene.

**Shakespeare:** Thou truly art a n00b! Relying on thy electronic devices to predict my work! Thou shouldst be ashamed!

**CelticKawaii:** I do the best I can, dammit!

**Shakespeare:** You're ruining my play!

**Dora the Explorer:** Oh no! These people look mad. Can you help me make them happy?

*random arrow/mouse thingy clicks to a question mark that came from nowhere*

**Boots:** Oh no, Dora? What are we going to do?

**CelticKawaii:** WTF?

**Shakespeare:** And just _where _did these two come from?

**CelticKawaii *looking pissed*: **You think I know?

**Wikipe-tan:**They are from a show called _**Dora the Explorer,**_ an American animated television series created by -

**CelticKawaii:** That's not what I'm asking you! I know where they're from! I just want to know how they got _here._

**Wikipe-tan:** Well you see, this is a **crack fic. **Named after the drug to imply that it can only be the product of a deranged mind, crack fic is identified by its absurd, surprising, or ridiculous premise.

**Hamlet:** Uh, what's going on?

**Hecate:** Do I come in _now?_

**Shakespeare:** Dammit woman! This isn't even the right play!

**Vengeance:** Where's that damn bastard?

**CelticKawaii *facepalm*: **Ugh! What bastard are you ranting about _now,_ Venge?

**Vengeance *looking psychotic*: **Who else could I mean? I'm talking about that guy who created me!

**CelticKawaii: **You're not even in the right fic.

**Shakespeare:** And who is this deranged vixen?

**CelticKawaii *smiling proudly*: **Oh, this is my original character. Her name is Vengeance, and she's in my FMA fanfic.

**Hamlet *mumbling*:** Mary Sue.

**Vengeance: **You wanna try me, bitch?

**Shakespeare *grabs bottle of Jack Daniels*:** I'm gonna need therapy after this.

* * *

**A/N: Yup, another inapropriate appearance by one of my OC's in my fanfiction. I warned you, this is purely crack fiction. And yeah, I don't know very much about _Hamlet, _so I had to look it up on Wikipedia. Thanks Wikipe-tan! ^_^ Now can someone, for the love of God, PLEASE REVIEW MY DAMN STORY!11!11!eleventyone!uno!1!1!une!2!**

*Wikipe-tan is the official mascot for Wikipedia, in case you didn't know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey kiddos! It's been a while. Technically, I haven't updated since last year. Well, the crack train has officially arrived! The Eds make an appearance, there's talk of chunky salsa, reference to a crappy movie [free cookies to whoever guesses it], and a free meme! Enjoy! ;D**

* * *

**Midsummer Night's Dream**

**[Ficville, in a forest, I think]**

**Bottom: **…er, where are my lines?

**CelticKawaii: **Wait, your real name is Bottom?

**Bottom *blushing*: **What's so wrong with my name?

**CelticKawaii: **Well….

**Shakespeare: **You again! Why are you still here, n00b?

**CelticKawaii: **Well, _someone's_ feeling grumpy from a hangover!

**Shakespeare: **Here, I've got your lines! *shoves lines to Bottom*

**Bottom: **Frailty, thy name is woman.

**CelticKawaii: **Chauvinism, thy name is Shakespeare!

**Shakespeare: **No wait! Wrong script!

**Fairie Queen: **And who art thou, mortal?

**CelticKawaii: **I'm a writer. A special kind of 'mortal' with the gift of devising literary GOLD!

**Shakespeare: ***cough*bull-t*cough*

**Fairie Queen: **Gift? What hast thou accomplished thus far?

**Dora the Explorere: **Oh no! That girl is getting caught lying!

**Boots: **This is why it's _never_ good to lie. You should _always _tell the truth, no matter what!

**CelticKawaii *****pulls out shotgun*:** That's it! You're gonna die!

***fires shotgun, blasting Dora and Boots to chunky salsa***

**All: **O.o

**Ed: **Oh, do it again! Hahaha!

**Double D: **Are you insane? You can't just obliterate two characters from a children's educational program and then describe the carnage in graphic detail!

**Eddy: **Where are we, Sockhead?

**Shakespeare: Oh, GOD no!**

**CelticKawaii: **What? People are getting sick of my OC's anyway. It's about time I gave them some canon crack-humor. Ladies and gentlemen, Ed Edd n Eddy!

**Shakespeare: **_Wow, _how mature!

**CelticKawaii: **Actually, my OC's resemble these characters in a way.

**Eddy *spit takes*: **Seriously?

**CelticKawaii: **Yeah; Josh is Ed, cause he's a goofball…and a nightmare fetishist; Raven, she's Double D, cause –

**Raven: **Um, actually, it's a 'C'

**CelticKawaii: **I wasn't talking about 'that' Rae.

**Raven: **Oh…*blushes*

**CelticKawaii: **Yeah, anyway…Raven's Double D, cause she's the brains in the group, and she worries about people. Plus, she's kind of an OCD case.

**Eddy *nudging CK*: **what about _me?_

**CelticKawaii: **Right, well…we have Ju. She's ambitious to the point of a fault, mostly doesn't know how to whisper, and for most of the story, she's basically a chewtoy. She's got a good side too, and turns out to…well, that would be a spoiler, now wouldn't it?

**Shakespeare: **So much for this _not_ being a venue for advertising your OC's!

**CelticKawaii: **Hey, alki, this is MY parody!

**Bottom: **This part of my lines, about a chink in the wall…

**CelticKawaii: **Whoa! So you're sexist, _and _racist!

**Fairie Queen: **Thou art no ordinary mortal; for never in my day hath I seen such a mortal who could conjure up beings from other realms on a whim.

**Eddy: **And who are you, Sparkly poo?

**Ed: **It reminds me of a movie Sarah made me watch with her last year.

**CelticKawaii: **Oh, you don't mean…?

**Ed: **The movie where everyone was a bad actor and one guy sparkled!

**CelticKawaii: **And another guy took his shirt off?

**Ed: **Yup.

**Raven: **Should I leave?

**CelticKawaii: **Sure…or you can provide more accidental fanservice.

**Fairie Queen: **Thou hast made an abomination! A Mary Sue!

**CelticKawaii *reloads shotgun*: **Oh yeah? You're no fairie queen! You're just a drag queen with ye olde butcherede English!

***fires shotgun again, reducing the Fairie Queen to chunky, sparkly salsa***

**Ed: **Woo! Hooray for CelticKawaii!

**Shakespeare: **You couldn't possibly butcher my works any further!

**CelticKawaii: **Wanna bet?

**Double D: **Is this even legal? You shot and murdered three people just now! And this is rated K+?

**CelticKawaii: **I censored the swear-words, didn't I?

***just then, Barney the Dinosaur walks into the scene from out of nowhere***

**Barney: **I will now take over the world!

**CelticKawaii *hands Eddy the shotgun*: **Knock yourself out.

**Eddy: **Say goodbye, ya purple memetic molester!

***epically fires shotgun, reducing Barney to another lump of chunky salsa***

**Double D: **Well, I can only applaud your actions now, really.

**Shakespeare: **Hand me that shotgun!

**CelticKawaii: **Don't do it Eddy! That thing's a rental**!**

***Rick Astley appears out of a puff of smoke and proceeds to RickRoll everyone***

**Rick: **_~Never gonna give you up/never gonna let you down/never gonna run around and desert you/never gonna make you cry/never gonna say goodbye/never gonna tell a lie/and hurt you!~_

* * *

**OH Boy! I really did it now…'memetic molester,' 'chunky salsa,'...am I getting it all from somewhere? [more cookies if you guess this one!]  
It's true, actually, the part about my OC's being like the Ed's...Yeah, I know, right? I didn't even realize it until I stumbled on clips of the movie on YouTube! And yes, maybe that 'guess the sucky movie reference' thing was a bit _too_ obvious, but...**

**Hope your guts are still in one piece! XD**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm BACK! Did anyone miss me? :P Well, anyway, I've been working on my other stories lately, so I've had to put _Parody_ on hold; that, and I had to think of something even funnier than Eddy with a chunky-salsa gun (ROFLMAO!) Anyway, this takes place in the setting of _Romeo and Juliet_. By the way, it did not have a happy ending. Except in this one. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Romeo: **Did Willy forget our script again?

**CelticKawaii: **Don't worry, you two are getting married!

**Shakespeare: **Oh HELL no! That's not how it's supposed to end!

**Juliet: **And why not?

**CelticKawaii: **Yeah Willy, why not?

**Shakespeare:** You've been gone how long?

**CelticKawaii:** Hey, you're not the only guy I have to torment. Heck, you're not the only guy named William when it really comes down to it all...

**Shakespeare:** You're not even bothering with canon anymore!

**CelticKawaii:** Can we stop fighting and get to the wedding already? I've even got the minister!

**Romeo and Juliet: **Minister?

**Fred Fred Burger: **Yes!

**Shakespeare ***glares at CelticKawaii***:** I HATE you!

**CelticKawaii: **Oh shoot! We still need to get the other crap ready! I'm no good at planning weddings. We need Alice from _Twilight_!

*Alice, CelticKawaii and a bunch of random people who have nothing to do with Shakespeare's plays pitch in to set up an epic wedding for Romeo and Juliet*

**CelticKawaii *sniffs Sharpie*: **Ta-da!

**Shakespeare: **Think you overdid it with the decorating?

**CelticKawaii: **Not my fault. Alice's magical wedding-planning powers tend to come with the side effect of being over-the-top.

**Fred Fred Burger: **Okay, so...um, where are my lines? Does anyone know what happened to my lines?

**Juliet: **You've got them in your hands.

**Fred Fred Burger *looks down at his lines*: **Oh yes! Um...We are gathered here today to get these two people married! This guy, Romeo, and this girl, Juliet. Yes!

**Shakespeare: **Oh Lord!

**Eddy: **Remind me again why I'm even here.

**CelticKawaii: **Dude, you're in one of my crossovers! Besides, you were a hit in the last chapter.

**Eddy *rolls eyes*: **Oh yeah, that's why your story only has three reviews, right?

**Alice: **Shhh! They're about to make their vows!

**Fred Fred Burger: **Okay, yeah, so...Romeo! Do you take that girl, Juliet, to be your awfully wedded husband?

**Eddy: **_Pffft. _WHAT?

**CelticKawaii: **Wife! He means _wife!_

**Fred Fred Burger: **What? Oh yeah. Wife! Do you take Juliet -

**Selim:** Okay, there is no _freaking _way you could have thought this through!

**CelticKawaii: **Wait a minute...where did you come from?

**Selim: **You sent out the invitations; you tell me.

*the sound of sarcastic clapping from the back of the chapel*

**Eddy: **Will you cut that out already!

**Fred Fred Burger: **Okay then! So, yeah, you guys, are officially married, and now you can kiss each other!

*Romeo and Juliet kiss. _Awwww!_*

* * *

_After the wedding..._

**Shakespeare:** It's official; you've completely outdone yourself here.

**CelticKawaii: **Aw, thanks Willy. Want some cake?

**Shakespeare:** Screw you!

**Alice: **You know, this originally had a sucky ending...

**CelticKawaii: **And your point?

**Edd:** Well, it seems as though you've subverted the final outcome of the original plotline in favor of an entertaining story, but not in keeping with the spirit of the play.

**CelticKawaii: **Do you think that's why Shakespeare's pissed?

*Juliet throws the bouquet, which is then caught simultaneously by Hecate and the First Witch*

**First Witch:** I caught it first, let go!

**Hecate:** My ass! Hand over the flowers, you ugly hag!

**First Witch:** Make me, b*tch!

*The two witches get into an all-out gruesome catfight over the bouquet*

**Ed:** Hey guys, I found my fire-breathing alien toy!

**All:** Wait! Don't pull the string!

*Ed pulls the string*

**All:** What the-

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

* * *

_Epilogue:_

_The blast from the explosion killed many people, and sadly, Romeo and Juliet were among them. But hey, at least they got to have the wedding!_  
_The two witches who fought over the bouquet were tied; they literally caught it at the same time, according to a ten-slow-speed camera that gave an instant replay of the catch. _  
_Ed, Edd and Eddy all lived._  
_Fred Fred Burger died. We think._  
_Shakespeare miraculously survived the incident (much to his chagrin). So did CelticKawaii. The bottle of Jack Daniels he was eyeing throughout the whole chapter did not survive. Now he is very sad._  
_CelticKawaii just might get a life. Maybe._

* * *

**Yet another crack-tastic chappy in this series of 'I Can't Believe You're Not High,' aka "Parody of Errors.' It's been a while, but after a long couple of ...months? of procrastinating, focusing on other stories, and more procrastinating, I finally came up with this chapter. Please review, whoever is reading this. Tell me whether you peed yourself when you found out Fred Fred Burger was the minister! XD **


End file.
